One of the recurring lessons of my own rebounding experience has been to take my eyes off of what others are doing and put them squarely on the only things that I can actually do anything about – my own actions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. It is so easy to fall into the trap of the blame game, however…
I’m talking about the eyes of judgment, of course. The eyes that size things up, analyze them, figure them out…assessing, weighing, always striving to find a “better” way. Those are the eyes that I naturally find wandering over into the camp of others – my husband, in fact, is frequently the victim. When I figure out that I need to eat less sugar for example, the first person I start to pick apart on the subject is my husband. Observing him eating too much sugar, making comments about how “we should…” eat instead, and so on and so forth. All stemming from the inner knowledge that, in fact, it is my own sugar eating that I am attempting to address. Externalizing the source of the problem, however, makes it easier to handle. It is easier to blame someone else for my problems. It is easier than taking 100% responsibility. It is easier to avoid making any changes that way – because it is he/she/them that need to change – no, not I!
My call to action today is to look into the corners of your life, those corners that perhaps need a bit of attention or sweeping out – are you externalizing any blame for these areas being out of order or are you taking 100% responsibility? This exercise for myself over the last two weeks has shone some light on a few sore spots that I know I need to step up to the plate on. Step by step…
