Oh my goodness, I was setting up an appointment yesterday and I realized that February is right around the corner – wow! And how did January get so fast anyways?? For me, the adage “Time flies when you’re having fun” applies right now- I think January is flying by in part because I’m not watching the clock – I’m having fun in the moment!
One of my most powerful realizations happened when I was 8 years old…I wrote in my journal (in fact I still have it in some box somewhere) that it was clear to me that I was here for a reason. And that reason was not about me at all.
Yes, you’ve heard it many times, but its true: action breeds action! I’m reminded of that this morning, because I have had a 2010 full of action so far but last night felt more like a crash and burn victim. All of the sudden yesterday evening, I was crushed under the weight of all kinds of negative emotion, overwhelm, feelings that really weren’t going to contribute to anything good I can tell you that. I wanted to eat comfort food, stomp my feet and yell, “wahhhh!” Now, where did all THAT come from??
Okay, so I leaped into 2010 very excited and maybe just a little overwhelmed? Lots to do and just seemed in moments, like too little time to do it in. And doesn’t it all seem like it needs to be done NOW? And even though logically you know it can’t be, sometimes I have a tendency to want to push the fast forward button so that I can feel the results now rather than be in process….hmmm, so I’m the only one, huh? That’s okay – as Freud says, “We’re only as sick as our secrets” so that’s not a secret now, so I can breathe – whew….
Of course as the New Year approaches, it is natural to pause and give thought to what lies ahead. My normal inclination would be to make a list of resolutions, but I can tell this year, something has shifted. Maybe it is the fact that by taking charge of our finances, we have already begun the work of setting the stage for 2010. We were in bankruptcy court last Friday and it struck me that everyone in that room was about to go into the New Year a little bit wiser, a little bit sadder, a little bit more somber than in some other years. Facing the truth can be sobering, to say the very least.
I’ll tell you one of the best parts of being involved with Isagenix is the amazing personal development opportunity. David Wood, a master trainer for Isagenix, made me see that the story that I tell myself around my life is what largely determines my thoughts and my actions. Acting out of fear, anxiety, or lack is normal if your reality is perceived to one that is fearful, anxious, and full of scarcity thinking. But if you change your story….ahh, well that just becomes another thing entirely.
My old self was inactive, frustrated that she wasn’t writing regularly, overweight, and less than kind to herself. I continue to run into that self now and again, plunging back into old patterns that no longer serve me. The difference is now, when I do run into her, I can see her and I can remind her that she’s changed. I can even show her before and after pictures! I can take her to my manuscript, my blog, my journals and say, “See, if you’re so frustrated about not writing, what is all this then??” Proof positive that I can let go of those old patterns and entitle myself to feel good about my progress. Despite my recent losses…I need to feel good about my gains.
Quitting is something akin to failure in the traditional sense, it seems, but letting go of something that is no longer serving you makes good sense to me. “Never say die” applies to the old school determination of plowing through, slogging through the tough stuff day by day and I get that. I’m certainly not advocating throwing your responsibilities into the wind and giving up prematurely, before you have done what you could to uphold your end of the bargain. But oftentimes, I see something other than that going on in myself and in those around me. I see an almost idiotic attachment to the idea of the struggle itself, to the idea of never giving up, as if killing yourself in the process is somehow required to be a good person.
Talking to people about my upcoming book, Rebounding, and listening to people’s stories has really served to remind me what a universal experience it is to grieve a setback or a loss, especially one that is financial in nature. When I bring up what I’m going through, many times I see a look of relief on the person’s face as they reveal to me an experience they had, maybe recently maybe 25 years ago. An experience that they may not have shared with me otherwise. Why not? Because we tend to define ourselves in terms of our financial status – we’re successful when we are doing well financially and when we aren’t, we’re not. And we certainly don’t want anyone to know when we’re not. The relief that comes along with being able to talk about it for many people is a huge step in the right direction. It helps to bring closure and
The first day of December…Let’s make it one of playing to our strengths and rebound right into December in grand style! It dawned on me today that I’ve had a tendency to spend more time dwelling on what I haven’t been 100% at than what I have…and yes, it is effecting me. It is so easy to be our own worst critics – we learn judgment and criticism from a very young age and it is so very tempting to turn that on ourselves all day long. Before you know it, all we are is overweight, underpaid, and very very underappreciated. I know there was a time where that was all I could see – even though I knew stepping out for moments that there was so much more than that to see.
Ready to Rebound!